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Thursday, April 28, 2016

Overcome Me!

This morning I went and had quiet time at a picnic table next to my favorite coffee truck in town. I was reading great words of encouragement and wisdom and half way through I realized in the back of my mind I was saying, “I can’t wait to share this on Instagram!”. I stopped for a moment to think on this and didn’t know if I should be sad for myself or grateful. Sad because what have we come to? Everything is posted online for the world to see and we go throughout our days counting the number of hearts, views, or likes we receive. I remember when Guitar Hero was a thing and I would have dreams about the color sequences (yes, I lived for some G Hero battles). Same thing. I have become so socially involved that even in my background thoughts I am looking forward to crafting my next post.

BUT, how amazing is it that now we have such a great platform to spread the word of Jesus? That we can use social media, the way of the times, to bring people to HIS feet and all gather, inspire, and be disciples. It is a sign of the times and we can either us it as a platform of vanity or a mountain to preach from.

While reading, I started taking bullet points of what I want and need to pray for.
  • Pray to use my gifts
  • Pray to be radical
  • Pray to do ANYTHING.
  • Pray that Mike supports me in my purpose and me with his. *If we are not on the same page then we both pray for patience and God’s timing.
  • Pray to jump
  • Pray that I can see/envision Heaven
  • Pray to be a servant of the Lord
  • Pray for scripture *note to self- read Luke 1:46-50

These are the prayers that my heart is bleeding out. Use me, Lord and don’t let me be afraid. I am ready and willing.

I have been going through the book Anything, and today’s chapter spoke of Mary. She saw that the birth of Jesus, the baby God placed in her, would save generations of humans. Wow. What can I do, Lord, that can bring people to you for generations to come? Or maybe it’s not even that grand. Maybe it starts with one and from there spreads like wild fire? Either way, take my pride and fear and let all that I do be for your glory and NOT mine.

I want to be a part of YOUR plan. I want to participate for eternity!

I feel so full and light today. I am happy, ready and willing to live for our beautiful God.

What are the prayers on your heart today? How can I help?  

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Our Family's Trip to San Antonio

This last weekend was such a dream! Mike and I have been wanting to host for so long and we were finally able to do so in our new house! My family has never been able to come to San Antonio and stay with us because we always lived in a dorm or a small apartment, so waking up with them here was such a blessing.

For the first time ever, I was able to whip out a majority of gifts we got from our wedding registry. My little sister kept asking me, "where is this from..." and finally she would just look at me and say "wedding?". It was cute.

We were able to show them around fun parts of San Antonio that they hadn't visited yet like The Pearl and The Quarry. The weather decided to cooperate, so we spent a lot of time outside. Mike and I are already counting down the days until we see them again:)

{Paleo scone by Fed & Fit}

I absolutely love to cook and I 100% got that from my mom. She is always making something new and sharing it with me. As a house warming gift, she got us this sweet little herb garden and I am dying to make a savory dish with these home grown spices! 

Monday, April 18, 2016

My Little Breath

Yesterday was a great day. We went to church and heard an amazing message then went to have quiet time at Local Coffee. I brought with me the book Anything by Jennie Allen and boy, oh boy was her message for me.

There have been a lot of things on my heart recently. I feel like I am filling too many cups with 100% of myself. I am running in circles and getting exhausted. All while this is going on, I am trying to seek out what my purpose is in this beautiful life (something I have been praying over for a while). Our lives are so short. Little breaths that come and go faster than we expect. My thought on this is what do I want to do with my little breath? How can I make my world so small and my God SO BIG in this short amount of time?

Everything I do and say needs to point people back to God. In reading Anything, Jennie wrote, "Time is almost gone. Our lives are only spent well on him and whatever stories he has written for us. What are we so afraid of losing?" You know when you read something and it was like it was written just for you?

So often I think, "Oh, I'll figure it out in a few years" or "I can't do that yet because of our bills, our house, our stability, etc.". I am so afraid of losing these Earthly things that I am creating road blocks for myself.

I have always known that my purpose in life has something to do with serving God. Let me rephrase. I have always known since college that my purpose is to serve the Lord in some shape or fashion. I have yet to feel like I am living it out, but what I do know is that I selfishly have made other things larger in my life.

I pray often, sit and be still when I think about it, and try to speak the word when I am around faith-filled people. I feel very exposed as I type this. Like I am showing a huge wound that has been hidden. I am so passionate about the Lord and serving him, but have not created the discipline to make him the largest piece of my life. It hurts so much to say that.

I am on a path of looking back on my life and asking, "what did I do with my breath?" This needs to change. My time needs to be devoted else where. I need to make so many things tiny, so that all I focus on, all I do is pray, serve, worship, and love our beautiful, jealous God.

I need your prayers, support and love. I need people to help hold the *rope with me. I know that that is the purpose of my life. To be the living, breathing Bible to all those who know and need Jesus. Jesus owns the entire world but yet has no physical address. He wants to make our hearts his home and he is chiseling away at other idols in our lives to make that happen for us.

He is there meeting me half way with arms stretched wide, just waiting for me to give up my Earthly desires. As Jennie wrote, "We are looking for this life to matter... So we keep busy, so distracted, so in love with everything but our invisible, patient, jealous God."

That statement makes me hurt because I know it's true. And it's time to make a change.

*In church this past weekend, Pastor Newton spoke on Mark 2. How four friends brought their paralyzed friend to the feet of Jesus. Jesus had just returned to Capernaum and a crowd had begun to gather around the house Jesus was in. These four friends wanted their paralyzed friend to see Jesus so badly that they dug a hole in the roof of the house Jesus was in and lowered him down to Jesus' feet. They all cared so deeply about their friends well being that they all held an end of the rope to help lower him down. We have to all help each other hold the rope. Our purpose in life is to help lead others to the feet of Jesus and spread His word.